Living Behind Someone Else’s Story

I never fathomed the thought of literacy. You read everything you see from texts on the
phone to cereal box labels to road signs. To read is to understand the different forms of literature.
With reading you need writing, however writing is more dreadful than reading. Having to write
things down to express my feelings or thoughts instead of voicing them seemed exhausting! Who
in their right mind came up with this concept? This was my opinion before starting the seventh
grade. Right when Fall of 2012 started, I felt a sudden change in my opinion about literature that
sparked a change within me.

Throughout my starting years attending P.S/M.S 95, I was bullied because I was too
much of myself. Strange, but true. I suppose being fake was more acceptable than being yourself,
so I hid behind a mask. At the start of the school year, I was not interested in making friends and
just kept myself concealed. I began to forget who I was as a person until my English teacher, Mr.
McMahon, taught me to use expression through literacy.

We started the first term with Suzanne Collins The Hunger Games: Catching Fire. I was
not drawn to reading so having to read a 439 page book struck me as maddening. Mr. McMahon
taught us that with reading, you need take your time and understand the words in front of you.
The main character, Katniss Everdeen, is portrayed as a fit and witted person. She won the 74th
Hunger Games and went on a tour around the districts. Little time after she gets picked into
competing for the 75th Annual Games. Katniss sees the world for what it is and accepts the
reality of it all. She is aware that in order for anything to happen you need to step up and fight for
what is right. I compared our life troubles on trying to make everyone happy and keep a good
face behind a dark wall. I was scared to live life and be who I was, but Katniss changed my
perspective. If you hide from the world you are only holding yourself back. The fear of rejection
from the world kept my mask attached, but I continued to read. I read books similar to my
situation, even if they contain differences in there circumstances, assists me in recognizing that
growth only comes with time.

Reading had been my source of comfort. In the classroom the was a tall black wooden bookcase that sat in the back. The shelf was dusty when I first approached it and only had about
15 different books to choose from. Before winter break came around, I had already read nine of
them. Consequently, my mask kept its structure and continued on. I noticed reading was
hindering my identity more because I expected life to be like the words on the paper. It was
exhausting and difficult to understand how reading can put thoughts into your head, make you
believe these thoughts are real, try them out for yourself and be disappointed for a different
outcome. Deciding to take a step back from reading, I shifted onto writing.
Writing was always such a boring task to do. At the start of the second term, I was a
hard-core bookworm and a soft-core writing expect. I was agitated that I could not seem to find a
solution in unmasking my inner doubts. Mr. McMahon had explained that free writing helps
formulate ideas that come straight to your head. After your ideas have finished, all you must do
is look back and start connecting all the pieces. Once understanding his view, my hand never left
the paper.

I believed that living behind words were normal. That one day I would bring these
schemes and actions into real life. In fact, when I embarked on my love for writing, I imagined
possessing two personalities. Both look, sound, and have a stick mindset like me. One of my
personalities is Jade. She’s the me that makes stern decisions and acts reckless because life is too
short to not live a little. Jade came about from wanting to go to a concert. She was so determined
and tried her hardest to make it happen, and she did. Her not giving up and pushing for what for
her wants made feel precious. Jade is my life’s adrenaline; she is hidden but open to the right
people and shines a light on dark times.

All hail Jay, the personality society would applaud over. Jay is rational and understands
how tough times can be. I took note of Jay when I felt the urge to do right by my mom and
family. Now when interpreting Jay in writing, I considered her as the more desirable half for
society. School has always been number one in achieving the goals she set for herself. Her will is
to a name of herself and spread positive vibes. Though Jay is resolute and stays focused on what
is best for me, she shaped my heart and I love her for that.

Books made it easy, writing made a questionable, performing the deeds get me intertwine
with the real world. I never favored literacy until my teacher explained what literacy was for why
it is important. It was hard thinking that I was never going to find myself and be able to remove
the mask I had. Reading was a temporary outlet but writing had been the best option. When
expressing my personalities, I still had yet to figure out who I was. Even today I still carry that
difficulty but I know who I want to be. Literacy became my second favorite subject after
understand and admiring every meaningful detail that constructed it. Without literacy, I would be
confused and left with a figurative view on life living through my mask.

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